Dave at Number 10 aka Cuts and Freezes – Tory wheezes

University’s not right for me
I’ll do an apprenticeship instead.
What? The government’s freezing everything.
Dave at Number 10 has said.

In the air, cool winds of change:
Frigid, free-all mania.
The Colden Days of Partnership
Frosting Cool Britannia.

Cold, calculating overtures
Made this liberal-con.
Cold-hearted lies and old school ties
Ensure it carries on.

Why can’t we freeze all cuts?
Have a cut on freezing things?
Invest in people properly?
Pump resources into regions?

Dave’s frosty stare from Number 10
Says that’s not the road he’ll take.
OK, Daaaave, let’s compromise:
Cut just the icing on the cake.

For example, cut the class system:
Freeze payments to minor royals;
Then freeze the assets of tax exiles
With homes on British soil.

Freeze parasites! Cut sponging!
Freeze and Cut’s real cool –
And the biggest gain is when they’re aimed
At those from Dave’s old school.